Not Mr. B’s Chili…But it Sure is Good!

My very, very dear friend Mr. B used to be my neighbor both at school and in the neighborhood.  Now, we teach on opposite sides of town and he moved an hour away.  (Lots of tears.)  Mr. B is one of the nicest, most compassionate, and thoughtful friends and teachers I have ever met.  He also tells really terrible (but hilarious) jokes, grew up in eastern Washington and roots for the Cougs, and doesn’t know how to downhill ski–but we won’t hold those things against him.

He makes up for his (very few) faults by making the world’s most delicious chili.  I know that everyone says their mom or grandma or tailgate friend makes the best stuff, but they are all wrong.  It’s Mr. B.  Hands down.  Although he has shared his recipe with me, I have never followed it because he is the only one who can create that magic.  However, I have used it as the base for my own chili recipe, which is also delicious, but doesn’t have quite the same Mr. B love.  Yes, my Not-Mr.-B’s-Chili tastes absolutely delicious, but his is far more special because a really, really, really, really fun event always accompanies his chili creations–sledding parties, gartyques, great conversations, football or hockey games, and certainly great time with our closest friends.

Mr. B.  Your chili has a permanent home in my heart.  Yours will always be more special than mine.

Not Mr. B’s Chili: (but yes, it is delicious)

What I love most about chili is the lack of a need for measurements.  I compile all of the ingredients together and dump them into a massive pot.  I let all the flavors marry together for a while and then adjust for taste.  For those reasons, I have very loosely included the measurements–but they are different every time.

  • 1 medium sweet onion, diced
  • 3 or 4 scallions, thinly sliced with the green parts separated from the while parts
  • 1 to 1 1/2 pounds of ground turkey
  • 2 small cans of tomato sauce
  • 2ish cans of diced tomatoes, drained
  • 2ish cans of kidney beans, drained
  • 2ish cans of red beans, drained
  • a number of tablespoons of chili powder and cumin
  • a little less spicy paprika
  • a little bit of crushed red peppers
  • a few dashes of cayenne
  • a little bit of garlic powder
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • sour cream
  • shredded cheddar cheese
  1. Heat a glug of two of olive oil in a very large pot.
  2. Add the onions and the white parts of the scallions.
  3. Cook until soft.
  4. Add the ground turkey and cook until no longer pink.
  5. Add all of the beans, the tomatoes, and the tomato sauce.  Cook until hot.
  6. Add the spices, a little at a time, and let cook for a few minutes.  
  7. Taste.
  8. Add more spices and cook a little more.
  9. Taste.
  10. Adjust spices.
  11. When it is absolutely perfect, garnish with a dollop of sour cream, a few sprinkles of the green parts of the scallions, and cheddar cheese.
  12. ENJOY!  And be thankful of your wonderful friends.
  13. Thanks, Mr. B.

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